The Daily Dish: 2005-09-18

Kanye West Hates White People, and is a hypocrite

Kanye: "White people should sound white"

Kanye West has stated that white artists should stop trying to sound black. The rapper says he is a great fan of a vast variety of musical styles, performed by artists of all colours. However, he believes that people should stick to what they do best, reports Contactmusic.com.

Kanye explained: "I hate music where white people are trying to sound black. The white music I like is white.

"I like Franz Ferdinand. That's the s**t," he added.

via: digitalspy.co.uk

and here is some more classic Kanye West via contactmusic.com

Hip-hop star KANYE WEST is advising his white counterparts that they can only use certain slang terms when they're out of style for black people.

The JESUS WALKS rapper - who recently charged that US President GEORGE W BUSH "doesn't care" about African Americans - believes that certain slang words should only be able to cross racial barriers when they're no longer in style for black people.

He says, "I think white people are allowed to say 'bling'. They are allowed to say old-school black slang, like 'hottie' and 'homie'.

"Actually, I do not think that (white people) are allowed to use slang until it is at least a year old. If you say a slang word too early, it's like you're trying to be black. So as long as the slang is a little played out, you're all good."

No doubt about it, he has issues, and not just pissing in his pants either. He's got some serious verbal diarrhea going on. Can't wait for his book. It smells like best-seller material already: "All White People Need to Know They Learned From Kanye West".

Who's the Latest Celeb Guilty of Walking Around Barefoot?

I am! I am! Admits Sly Stallone.

What IS it with celebrities and walking around barefoot outside. Do they think they are immune to whatever nastiness lurks on the ground? To they believe their celebrity actually allows they to have special hovering powers?

I don't get.

Arrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A sun flower bends with the weight of snow near Cremona, Alberta, Thursday, Sept. 22, 2005. Rain turned to snow in this central Alberta village but sunny skies are predicted for the rest of the week.

via: AP

Canadians Rock!

Literally!

Canadian J.D. Fortune has been crowned the new INXS frontman.

And congrats to all the Canadian Rockers!

DEANNA

SUZIE

and TARA

You guys rocked!

Slap me, tickle me, bite me, just don't ignore me......

How mischievous of me! How is it possible that three whole days have passed since I last posted? Well, damn me to hell and back, because I've been terribly busy my naughty little monkeys, doing all sorts of wonderfully, intoxicating, and important things.

But alas, it's time to catch up with the naughtiest monkeys of all......

First off is Angelina Jolie, shopping at Rolex. Body image says it all "Hissssssss. No touching".

I count no less than five or six bodyguards or as I prefer to call them "Beefy Man Fence Posts". This pleased me, because the number of beefy posts in a "Man Fence" is a measure of your importance and celebrity. I insist that I be surrounded by no less than 10 or 15 of these meaty beefy posts while doing all my very important, wildy intoxicating and wonderful things.

Cameron Diaz would not get past my "Beefy Man Fence".

How much airbrushing does Cameron need, well, my little monkeys, take a look at Cameron, sans make-up, and an educated guess tells me there was no airbrushing here...

nor here:

How many man hours of airbrushing did it take to make her look like this for GQ?

This is an old photo of Christina Aguilera. I just thought I would throw it in here for the heck of it. So, how long until her crispy fried hair starts falling off in clumps?

That's her baby brother there, behind her. No need to adjust your monitors. Yes, his hair is blue.Unless......he might have a really strong blue aura. Hmmm, I must discuss this with my spritual advisor Boombomshakala, and seek his knowledge, and wisdom on this matter.

Lindsay Lohan has gone RED again.

And why is this important? Because I am an intrepid reporter, dedicated to details, and whose Numero Uno top priority is getting the latest news and most important life altering facts to the public. This, my little monkeys, is what has made the Dish both internationally renowned and sought-after!

Hugh Grant goes diving somewhere in France

He screams inside his head "Oh Fuck!" after that stupendously bad show of athleticism.

Hugh Grant realizes he sucks at diving and has just broken his balls in that stunning, painful belly flop.

Hugh Grant will not be trying that again, and goes home to mend his broken balls.

Onto happier news..Congrats go out to Rebecca and Jerry. He's a goofball, she's gorgeous. May their happy union last longer than ____________ (insert almost any celebrity marriage here).

Hey Terri, wanna bet that bus behind you can fit between your skinny twig like legs?

I win!

And speaking of thin, it is still sooooo in:

Glad to see that these celebs spend their millions wisely. I mean, why in the world would they need to buy food? Now food, that's something only POOR people really really want. Right girls?

And finally, here is a PSA for sun block, and the dangers of plastic surgery:

And that's it my naughty little monkeys. This intrepid ragster is off for another day.

Back to Celebrity Trashing: Jessica Simpson Mauls Old Men

God bless the paparazzi when they capture these gems. hehehehehehe
And Gaw, Jessica, this is no way to make your hubbie jealous. Like, for real.

And for all those who had enough of the "Federspawn" watch, then prepare yourself for part deux. This is a warning. Looks like another one is in the works.

Isn't it a lovely sight? And isn't it a wonderful thing to know that he will be so handy around the Spederline Nursery, seeing as he is a multi-tasking wizard? Drinking, while on the phone, and still managing to maintain his zany sense of style? Lovely!