The Daily Dish: 2005-08-14

Mickey Rourke a heart throb? I don't think so.

Source: http://www.femalefirst.co.uk

According to their article, Mickey Rourke is still one of Hollywood's sex symbols.

Apparently, he was spotted in London with another beautiful woman, making this a total of five women he's dated.

I don't know what they mean by that. Five women in the same day? Since he's been in London? In all his life? No idea. Anyways......

They go on to admit that his face has taken a beating, literally, by his boxing career, and then by some truly awful plastic surgery. But that hey, this don't matter, because he was photographed with a beautiful brunette this past Tuesday.

The article then mentions how, amongst many other conquests, he almost got into a fight outside a club earlier this month in London after apparently successfully stealing some guy's girlfriend. She's a milkbreath (i.e. 17, i.e. still a baby, because you can still smell the milk on her breath).

Anyhow. I am not bashing the article. What I do have a problem with is how so many people in Hollywood are glamourized, even when they shouldn't be. Period.

And it's disgusting, to be drooling over "celebrities" simply because they are, or might have been, or think they are, or are treated as if they are.

This is why. This is what Mickey Rourke used to look like, and what he looks like today.

click picture to view larger shot

Eva Gets Waxed: "I Feel Like a Woman"!

Eva Longoria says that getting a Brazilian wax finally made her feel like a woman.

WFT!?!?!

Someone, shut her up. Pleaaaaaseeeeeeee. Anyone, grab a pole and smack her and MAKE her shut up!

She is quoted in www.thesun.co.uk saying "I really think that was it. I thought: 'I was missing out on this whole other world before that Brazilian wax.'

"It was when I was 25 or 26. I never waxed or really paid attention to that area.

"But it came at the right time. It opened the door to a whole new sexual side of me.

"I felt like Angelina Jolie afterwards.

"(Getting in touch with) your inner sex goddess would begin with the Brazilian wax.

"And try dating a younger man - that's worked for me!"

Not that I am that interested in getting discussing Eva's "area" as she calls it, but, let's review , people, shall we......

1- she never paid any attention to "that area" before she was 25 or 26. Are you kidding me? "Are you there God, it's me Margaret" anyone?????

2- she felt like Angelina Jolie afterwards. What the hell is that supposed to mean? She goes around giving Angelina Jolie the slip of the finger? She and Angie got together after a waxing session and compared notes?

3- "It opened the door to a whole new sexual side of me." ???? "Getting in touch with your inner goddess begins with the Brazilian wax"?????? Honey, what it is is that the Brazilian wax begins with you spreading yourself in front of another woman (usually), who then proceeds to rip out the hair apparently never knew was there, by the roots.

And, if you felt a whole new sexual side during your waxing experience, well then, whatever turns you on honey. Maybe you're a masochist or hell, maybe just admit you're a lesbian.

Although I hear Angie is taken.

All in all, some things, honey, are better left unsaid.

"The Way We Were"

Nicole Kidman. Back in 1989. When she was a carrot "top" and "bottom".

Halle Berry, cute in 1986. Despite the gold belt. What was she, anyways, spokesperson for Danskin Leotards????

Jude Law, looking better now a days.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in 1987. Am not a fan of her's . Thinks she's too good for her own good. Why? Why? Anyhow, love the first shot. She should carry it around with her, and look at it every so often. That should bring her tumbling down her high horse.

Speaking of horses. Madonna in 1985. Pre fake English accent days.

Janet Jackson, 1984 and 2005. She was cute, then cuter still. She looks tacky now. And apparently has been puttin ' on the pounds.

Jennifer Aniston in 1990. Back in the day before the "Rachel" hair, and "his and hers matching blond highlights" to go with hubby Brad's golden locks.

Why oh why did Kim Stewart have to apologize to Jennifer for calling her homely?? For once, someone said something honest in Hollywood. Jennifer is not cute, never was, and can highlight her hair till it falls off, and she will still be average, and even homely.

Teri Hatcher with some meat on her bones! Cute.

Minnie Driver, back before she discovered hair conditioner and a stylist
.

Dannii Minogue in 1990. Dannii Minogue is a friend of plastic surgery.

Kylie Minogue in 1987. Kylie got a plastic surgery two for one special with sister Dannii. Plus a little extra Botox on the side.

Word is that she is doing well (she was diagnosed and receiving treatment for breast cancer), and that she is planning a 2006 wedding with fiancee Olivier Martinez.

Sarah Jessica Parkerin1985. Again, another one who thinks she is too good for her own good. Miss Fashion icon and all. I don't think so..............

Seriously people. Let's be real. Julia Roberts was NEVER a Pretty Woman, not in 1990, and not now.

Whoaaaaaa. David Hasselhoff. hahahahhaahahahahahahahhahaah

Angelina Jolie, 1988. With braces. Who would guess she was a sex symbol in the making.

Demi Moore in 1990. After having a little peroxide overdose. Let's not even mention those brows.

Grungy looking in the 90's, and still doing the grungy thing today.

Oh Mariah , Mariah, Mariah. Remember back in 1993, when you were cute?. You actually made the underbite thing work. You just look like a swollen whore now.

Hahahahaha. Sting looks like a goofball. Back in 1979 with what looks like a male version of a Dorothy Hamill hair cut, and a Navy inspired striped shirt. Of course, tantric sex helped him find the bliss and the ability to have the sense of a good cut, and some fashion know-how.

Liz Hurley in 1991. With monster eyebrows, bad hair, and worse fashion sense. She's a little more manicured, but still has no sense. She has been quoted as saying "I'd kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe." Idiot.

George Michael. The Eighties were not all that good to him. I suddenly have the craziest craving for some KFC, or Kentucky Fried Chicken as it was known back then.

Michelle Pfeiffer was cute in 1985. At least back then she could actually move her facial muscles and smile.

Pierce, Pierce Pierce.....Still, he' aged pretty well. Glad he lost the 'stache.

Despite the hair, and the golden macrame thing, she looked good. Still looks good now, and she knows it too..

Brad, Brad, Brad, what would Angelina think of this 1987 look of your's????? Would she get past the hair, the Olivia Newton-John "Let's get Physical" appropriate aqua tank, the " come hither" pout? Hilarious! Oh, never mind, Angelina was still doing the braces thing back then, and no home-wrecking material herself either, that's for sure....

These are great! Courtesy of sky.com

Bruce Willis went fishing, and caught a Louise

Bruce has a new gal.

Bruce Willis has been snapped with what looks like new squeeze Louise Griffiths on a chartered yacht off St. Tropez on the French Riviera.

She's famous in the UK for having been a contestant in Fame Academy, a musical talent contest something a la American Idol, and was formerly engaged to British racing driver Jenson Button.

Anyhow, the important thing, for Bruce I guess, is that she's 26.

And she has man-hands.

Do you see the size of those mitts?

Maybe Bruce is into that kind of thing, or rather, the kind of thing she can do with them paws.

Eva Longoria has a hard head

Eva Longoria was struck in the head by a falling pole while filming a scene for the show on Wednesday. She was not seriously hurt, her publicist said.

No word yet on which of the other housewives was at the other end of the "falling" pole.

Mary-Kate is a Smoooookin' Hot Dancer

Pierce Booted as Bond

Pierce Brosnan, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly magazine in its Aug. 19 issue, tells how one phone call let him know his Bond days were over.

"One phone call, that's all it took!"

He also says that before they stopped negotiations, the producers had invited him back for a fifth time.

He goes on to say that he found some freedom in this news.

"I'm not shackled by some contracted image. So there was a sense of liberation."

Ya, well, that's what he says. The truth of the matter is that ever since Remington Steele, this was a part that had his name all over it.

Pierce is 52 years old. He's aged pretty well, and not only in Hollywood terms! Here he is in Remington Steel, way back in '82!

Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous

Billy Zane and his British model fiancee Kelly Brook have lots of sex, and, not just for the sake of sex, nooooooooooo, but to help keep them fit.

She apparently spilled to Star her fitnesss regime:"I hardly do anything at all to keep in shape. I rarely watch what I eat or go to the gym.

"Sex keeps me fit and healthy. What can be better as part of your diet?".

And now, more from the Sex lives of the Richa and Famous......

First, Billy and Kelly have strenuous all day sex to keep fit, and then, there is multi-tasker extraordinaire Jennifer Connelly.

Jennifer Connelly likes reading books while having sex.

Wait, there's more.....

She also enjoys chatting on the phone and internet shopping during love-making sessions with actor husband Paul Bettany.

She revealed: "I do like to read a book while having sex. And talk on the phone. You can get so much done. If the room's dark enough, I like to do some online shopping."

Am I the only one which the urgent need to know what she's reading, and what she's shopping for?

Bad Boy Pete

Pete Doherty, and a companion have been caught at the Oslo airport by customs with 1.7g of crack cocaine and 1.5g of heroin.

The troubled rock star is the Babyshambles front man and Kate Moss's on-off boyfriend.

He and his companion were each fined Â£700 for possession and detained for 4 hours at the airport.

The detention seriously delayed Babyshambles' appearance at a rock festival.

When Doherty, finally made an appearance, reports are that he vomited on stage during his performance and apparently threw vodka bottles into the audience and told the crowd his singing was supposed to be out of tune."

Rock on dude......

He will apparently not go to court since the fine was paid and accepted, but this whole thing will be registered as a criminal offence in Norway.

Can't see as how that criminal registration is going to change him whatsoever. Let's see how Kate passes her judgement. Now that punishment would be more interesting.

Nude Jude - Jude caught with his pants down again

Jude Law is in France visiting his mother. For whatever reason, he decided to drop his pants outside, and change into shorts. This because, what, he could not make it into the house? He so urgently needed to change right there, right then.

Images of Nude Jude in all his glory are circulating all over the net already.

Or rather, Nude Jude NOT in all his glory. Word is his jewels are none too errr impressive.

Too decide for yourself, check out the uncensored picturehere

Sienna immediately took advantage of Jude's bits hanging out and about and got her burly side-kick to grab the nearest sharp instrument and start waving and swining.

Of course, seems like he will have a heck of a time reaching, given that Jude makes such a errr small target.

A night with Demi and Ashton

In an interview with Harper's Bazaar for its September issue, in which Demi talks about having kids with Ashton, she also shares this little tid bit:

She says a good night with Kutcher is spent "sharing a bath with one another and watching Court TV. Snuggling up naked."

As you can see here, Demi is getting ready for a night with Ashton by doing the soon-to-be-classic uterus stretch. This stretch is part of a new work out regime designed by Mari Winsor of Winsor Pilates, and is all the rage in baby crazy Hollywood. Any day now, Daisy Fuentes will be demonstrating this new move on late night infomercials

Demi has discovered it is an excellent limbering exercise for naked TV watching as well.

Get over yourself

P. Diddy is changing his name, again.

Once known as Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Puffy, and P. Diddy, he now wants to.......get ready for this................simply be called....

Diddy

"One word. Five letters. Period," he is quoted as saying to the New York Post.

It's apparently all due to massive confusion.

He says his old name was causing confusion and he wanted to "simplify things".

He told the New York Post that his name was even starting to confuse himself.

I believe him, I believe him!!! Looks like it was starting to affect his sanity. Look at him here, already the first signs of insanity emerging when he starting talking into his shoe.

"Nobody knew what to call me. I'd notice that people were uncomfortable when I'd meet them for the first time, and then they'd ask me what they should call me," he said.

"I even started to get confused myself - and when I'd called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long."

Looks like he cleared everything up in time, now, when he calls Madonna to wish her the best, he won't have to keep poor bed-stricken, and pain-ridden Madge guessing who is on the other end.

Unless she too starts talking into her shoe. But that would most probably be the pain-killers kicking in.

Madonna Suffers Broken Bones Horsing around on her Birthday

Madonna suffered several broken bones on Tuesday when she fell off a horse while riding at her English country estate of Ashcombe House on her 47th birthday.

According to her spokesperson Barbara Charone, "She sustained three cracked ribs, a broken collar bone and a broken hand but is expected to be released from hospital later this evening,"

"The star was celebrating her 47th birthday with her husband, film director Guy Ritchie and her two children, Lourdes and Rocco," Charone said in a statement released in London.

"She was riding a new horse, not her regular horse," her New York publicist Liz Rosenberg said.

She was riding with an assistant when she suffered the fall. Her husband Guy Richie rushed her to hospital.

Today's "Oh Baby!" Feature

Brooke and Rowan out and about. Rowan, looking oh so pretty in pink.

Matthew Fox - almost lost "Lost"

Matthew Fox almost walked out early from his audition in order to avoid LA's Friday afternoon traffic. He's quoted in this story as saying "When I'm in LA it (traffic) is one of the few things that can drive me to want to kill myself."

U-huh. Imagine the road rage he'd be experiencing had he indeed walked out and lost Lost.

read full article here

David Schwimmer - bad luck, bad picture

This. This picture is exactly why we regular folk should be happy to simply to be regular folk.

Imagine having no control over 1- having such a sucky picture taken 2- having no control over who sees it, and what is done with it.

Shape-up, Shape-down

Jennifer Lopez leaving the gym after a work out with trainer Gunnar Peterson in Beverly Hills on Friday.

Right on Jen. That's exactly what I would choose to wear after a work-out. All that time spent doing the crunches, the leg lifts, the squats, the reps, the burn, the pain, only to wear the most unflattering, billowy, figure disguising and disfiguring tent I could find.

U-huh.

Duff goes Dark

Hilary going Goth-like? Performs during the taping of 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno' August 15, 2005.

2005 Teen Choice Awards

Gwen Stefani or Bananarama flashback? Gwen is a woman of many talents. She is obviously wearing her best "do it your-self" painting clothes to give a helping and primping, painting and building the 2005 Teen Choice Awards sets.

She is so helpful!